The Good, the Bad & the Idly

Yes & No .. Yes, this is a review of Quickgun Murugun .. No, it is not a Hindi movie ... No, It is not a English movie .. Yes, It is Tamil movie. Adda paavi! whatisthisisay .

To begin with, let me tell you this is no movie, it is a spoof. Mind It!. Circa 1982, Cowboy the protector of cows tries to protect only veg hoteliers from serving non veg, as under the orders of evil don Rice plate reddy garu. Mindless you might say, but still Mind it!. Who cares, when our cowboy's acting in the entire movie is performed by his two guns - QUICK gun and MURU gun. The various permutations and combinations in styles of firing the two guns forms the crux of our hero's special abilities and accounts for nearly 1 hour of this 1.5 hour movie.

Technically speaking this a double cross spoof movie. First, its a western crossed over into kollywood, with that distinct accent and style like in the 70s. Now you not just spoof this idea further, but make a second cross over into bollywood's mumbai. To be honest, the movie's first half is mostly dedicated to characters resembling Tamil movie stars of 70s and 80s, with hero serenading his lady to some vague tam songs, which most non tams would have rarely ever heard before, let alone identifying with them. Only If they had included a classic crossover tam song, the likes of Apdi Pode Pode Pode, half the audience would have been drawn into a informal jig.

Now the spoofgate does'nt end there. Elevating himself to the standard hollywood fare, the script writer tries to bring in more elements. The villain is a Ghajini lookalike in the first half with his fetish for violent indulgences, suddenly turns into a evil corporate honcho with a Mogambo look alike attire in the second half. Helloo!! Will someone with a dictionary read out the meaning of the word consistency.

Thankfully, the second half slips into some semblance of a story line, however amateurish it might have been. In Rowdy MBA and Matunga mummies, there is a hint of humour snaking its way back into the story. Rowdy MBA is a satire on how consultants armed with MBA degrees hoodwink clients with the GYAN. The sequences involving matunga mummies are the most hilarious, in the search of the one exceptionally tasty dosa preparing mummy.

Yes, there are heroines. Anu Menon aka Lola Kutty trying to do Priya Tendulkar in Hum Paanch. What is Lola Kutty without her outrageous Mallu accent and Gajra fitted attire ?. A damp squib. Thankfully, there is Rambha, the mumbai moll trying to seduce the conservative tamilian boy in murugan. Some credit to the director, for attempting to bring out the cultural contrast between conservative south indian boys and modern mumbai girls.

For a very long time, I have been waiting for a really bad movie to write a review on.

Spare the dosa and spoil the batter.
Can we have some idly instead please!

Absolute humour

Has it occurred to you that you found something funny and laugh your heart out, while people around seem totally nonplussed at your behaviour. It happens to me ever so often. It has lead me to believe there is nothing in the world called Absolute humour. For long, I believed it was just one of my many idiosyncrasies, not worth sparing a thought. It was particularly evident, while watching movies, citing two cases of not so funny ones- The Namesake and more recently Lost in Translation. I was berated by my companions, who failed to understand what was so funny. Its just that a few people are endowed with a funny bone, which is tickled at the slightest of reasons.

But all laughter need'nt be funny. I came across this facebook community - Random laughter when remembering something. It says, laughter is evoked, when an event invokes positive memories of the past. Well, that might be my excuse. This giggle-sniggle has other positive side effects also. Once a friend had asked me, how do I manage to remain a happy guy all the while. I was at loss to answer that one. I did'nt want to sound gloomy with the outpouring of my grief. Neither could I pride on my exalted state, as I am not privy to measure of other people's feelings or emotions. It nevertheless is a cool facade to put on, without much effort.

Everything comes at a cost. For one, you might sound the most immature of the lot. The intellectual depth of your thought process might be put into some questioning. But there is little you can change, even if you want to. Now when I say, Dhamaal is one of the funniest movies I have seen over the last several years, I am so so damn serious and definitely not sarcastic in criticising the slapstick humour of bollywood movies. Let me strenghten my case, by saying the Revered SWAC-C of our esteemed alma mater is also equally in agreement. It is quite another case, that we both watch every slapstick movie that is released from Fool N Final to Singh is King. It has in turn refined our ability to appreciate the finest of nuances in slapstick.

Now Hangover was okie, well written & funny in parts. But at times it was crude and gross for no particular requirement of the storyline. Any comparison with all time classics like Not Another Teen Movie, is over the top and totally inaccurate. The funniest character in hangover to me was the Chinese guy and not the weirdo brother of the bride, whom most in the audience seem to like. It still would rank quite lower than the many spoofs I have been watching these days like Naked Gun series, Super Heroes, Scary Movie.

May be my sense of humour is aroused in witty misrepresentations of facts. Yay!. If I have got my analysis right, I need recommendations on books to read, movies to watch. Just the right ones for me, Now that you know what works.

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Wassup

Friday evening 6:45 pm

Status : sitting @ marine drive sea side watching the sun set

Music : soft instrumental - Yanni, vanessa mae, mozart

Mood : contemplative

Breeze : light, cool & pleasant

Crowd : noticeably sparse .. still the usual mix of young & old, rich
& poor, couples & singletons, masked & unmasked, dogs & crabs

immediate past : just another day at the office

immediate future : ice cream at rustoms followed by dinner at crystal

Task at hand : post a good ol' fashioned status msg

Flu is in the air ..

Aaj ki taaza Khabar. Janta ke liye chetavni.

Flu ek khatarnak Bhimari hain. Yeh cheekne se, choone se aur choomne se fehalta hai. Flu peedith logon se door rahe. Unko aapke pyaar aur lagaav ki abhi zaroorat nahin hain. Apne aapko pehle bachayiye.

But yeh mumbai hain meri jaan. The average mumbaikar reads Economic Times on the weekdays and Times Of India only on weekends just to stay in touch. So he is either unaware of the dangers of flu or deliberately chooses to ignore the threat.

But today morning, Dadar station was a different. Flu or no flu, there was definitely an air of suspicion. Anyone wearing mask is either an infected person or trying to protect himself from infection.

Now whoever designed the surgical mask, definitely has a very poor sense of fashion. Its so ugly. yuck!. Now trendy mumbai women have to find ways to overcome this problem. Obviously, they can't everyday pull out the light green salwar kameez and matching sandals to go with the mask. Off with the masks, instead they turn out in their most colourful duppatas, wrapped tightly around the face. My friend Alex from Moscow, finally was contended seeing the quintessential Indian woman, all coyness, all traditional and all that, if only for oneday atleast. Just like Aishwarya in Jodha Akbar!. Wah!.

Compared to the pretty women, Men were definitely an eyesore. Out were the dirtiest hand kerchiefs tied around the neck, Which I am sure even the most unhygienic H1N1 virus would want to avoid. But the good thing was on board the train, everyone was suprisingly well behaved, no pushing or shoving. That was just the lull before the storm.

All hell broke loose, when Rashesh bhai let out the sneeze he had been holding tight ever since he boarded the train at Dahisar. Every one ran for cover in all directions. The younger ones uttering the choicest of four letter words cursing their fate. The older ones started humming the Hanuman chalisa. Just one prayer on everybody's lips, "Hey Prabhu, Meri Raksha Karo". Any amount of "Sorry bhai, Amne flu nahin che" from Rashesh Bhai could not console the now scared junta. The journey ended and off we went our separate ways.

To conclude, a short romantic song dedicated to flu by Sir John Paul Young

(Singalong)

Flu is in the air
Everywhere I look around
Flu is in the air
Every sight and every sound

(Chorus)
Flu is in the air
Flu is in the air
Oh oh oh
Oh oh oh

Flu is in the air
In the whisper of the breeze
Flu is in the air
In the thunder of the sneeze

And I don't know if I'm just scheming
Don't know if I feel sane
But it's something that I must believe in
When everyone has got a mask across their mane

(Chorus)
Flu is in the air
Flu is in the air
Oh oh oh
Oh oh oh

Men are from Uranus, Women are from Neptune

Short Story from Aesop's Babbles (Rejects from the original fables collection)

Once upon a time there used to be two planets by name Uranus and Neptune. Uranus was male, while Neptune was female. Naturally, they were attracted to each other and fell in love. They could easily get approval for marriage, as both belonged to the same class - fuming gas giants.

But marriage was no bliss. While Uranus always remained blue, Neptune was Red, Green or Blue depending on the time of the day. Both could spin all day long either on horizontal axis or on vertical axis, But never the same way. Now everyday, Uranus rose 2 hours later, but set 2 hours earlier than Neptune. Neptune had never known this before! Sigh!. But she put up with it, as Uranus had promised her many a moon and also bought her special rings. Neptune liked her rings, but always thought they pale in front of her neighbor Saturn’s.

In their younger days, they thought life was just about happily spinning near each other like DINKs (Double Income No Kids) do on earth. Neptune spun very hard, everyday. Those days, there used to be strong gender bias in the galaxy especially against female gas giants. But neptune was determined to break the Gas ceiling. One day they saw a cute little Pluto wandering around aimlessly. Overcome by gravity, they took him in & soon they were one happy family like the DINKWADs (DINKs with a Dog).

But when god heard about this, he was very angry. "Nobody is above the laws of universe", he proclaimed. "The life of all planets revolve around their Son .. err Sun", he added. Soon Uranus and Neptune were making long term plans for their Sun. What will he be like? Which orbit should they put him in, when he is ready to spin on his own?. Getting an orbit these days was very difficult, especially after 33% orbit reservations were introduced for the asteroid belt. Uranus wanted him to be a Red Giant, while Neptune wanted him to be a White dwarf. Meanwhile, Pluto was no more getting the attention he was so used to all these days. Soon he was relegated to a sub orbit and eventually declared a Non Planet.

By the time he was 20 mn years old, Sun moved out on his own into the company of the inner planets. He lives very far these days and rarely ever visits them. Both eagerly await the return of Uncle Haley once every 70 years and keenly listen to his stories about their Sun’s life in the inner orbits. His big face off with the Angry Mars or his brief fling with the pretty Venus. Age has caught up with both Uranus and Neptune. They biding their time until the supernova explosion, when like all other planets before them, one day they will be sucked into the black hole.

Moral of the story : Men are from Uranus, Women are from Neptune

It is a way of life

first you deny It,
then you confront It,
later you despair about It,
Finally you learn to live with It.
.......
Once in a while, you blog about It.