MEN AT WORK

Lunch for 4 at Bhagat Tarachand – Rs 500

But this Saturday afternoon, the plans were altered a little bit

Price of 1 kg bhindi at Big bazaar - Rs 40

Tomato, Onion, Dal, Rice, vegetable oil – sourced internally

Two fine hands & loads of encouragement – sourced internally

Band aid for the occasional slip up by otherwise nimble fingers – Rs 5

Technical Advisory fee payable to fiancée – 2 dairy milks

A 4 course lunch well prepared– should I say PRICELESS, no way read further

Heartfelt thanks from newly engaged roommate for training him in the finer art of chappati making especially on issues related to tactical use of flour to reduce stickiness of dough –PRICELESS!

Key learnings from the day at work

• Proven again , that unlike women, men can never really multitask. That’s the reason why one meal required three men to work simultaneously for a little more than 1.5 hours
• Every rice cooker has its own personality. Know your cooker before you cook.
• Shallow fry and deep fry are two different methods of frying
• Never feel ashamed about the mess you make in the kitchen, your roommate can always clean it up

Ajab movie ki ghazab kahani

I didn’t read any reviews, just walked in into the theatre. Likewise, SWACC also did, we did not want any reviews to spoil our anticipation of some pure unadulterated fun in the movie. Yes, slapstick is back, yippee. But it’s new, it’s different its slapstick with class, panache and spoofs across most movies of popular genre over the last year or two. Just that you need to pay little attention to recognize it. Now who said, slapstick doesn’t test your intelligence or stimulate your intellectual quotient.

Okie having said all that, the kahani is an absolute no brainer. Who cares?. Till date, I never ever understood the story in a single Charlie Chaplin movie, but never remember not enjoying one. The laughs start with the first shot; refuse to die down until the interval. There is a lull in between, where the poor director has realized he needs to build a story to make any sense at all. After that we are back again, laugh till the credits are drawn down.

Honestly, the last time I enjoyed a comedy movie so much was Dhamaal a couple of years ago. But since then, just Singh is King was decent, not great though. But this one really cool. Its sweet, unadulterated humor about the romance between a dumb guy and intelligent woman.

Ranbir Kapoor is a big star in the making. I just can’t resist this. Don’t you think, he very closely resembles the Acadcom secy of our IIMI 2007 batch in more ways than one :). Well, subh should be able to better answer that one :). Well! Ranbir can definitely play the sweet, laidback, innocent guy better than anyone else in the industry now.

Katrina Kaif can act!. Okie that might be like asking for a little too much. But the lady can definitely make funny faces at least. That’s more than what the movie could ask from her. Of course, she has the mandatory item number for front bencher titillation :). Hello! Why blame the front benchers always, when the back seat elite are equally savoring the jhatkas and matkas.

If you’re like me, just want to have a good time, without expecting a good story or its historical background or thrill of a whodunit, then just go and check out this movie :).

Cheers

Nostalgia

zindagi ke safar mein,guzar jate hain jo makam
woh phir nahin aate,
woh phir nahin aate

phool khilte hain,
log milte hain
phool khilte hain,
log milte hain magar
patjhad main jo phool
murjha jate hain
woh baharon ke aane se khilte nahin

kuchh log ek roz jo bichad jate hain
woj hazaron ke aane se milte nahin
umr bhar chahe koi pukara kare unka naam
woh phir nahin aate,
woh phir nahin aate

subaah aate hai
raat jaate hai
subaah aate hai
raat jaate hai yuhi

waqt chalta hi rehta hai rukta nahi
ek pal me ye aage nikal jaata hai
aadmi theek se dekh paata nahin
aur parde pe manzar badal jaata hai

ek baar chale jaate hai jo din raat subaah shaam
woh phir nahi aate
woh phir nahi aate

zindagi ke safar mein,guzar jate hain jo makam
woh phir nahin aate,
woh phir nahin aate

Time please!

I want a break! [shout]
I want change, change for good, good that stays good long enough
I believe in a fair world
I don't believe in destiny, but I just like to blame it
Did this recession change my life?
or wait is the recession over?. banking analyst at home thinks otherwise
I think KRK should win big boss season 3
And Nandita Sharma is the perfect bride
Kannada is my mother tongue fine, but some one tell me what this movie title means "Chamkaisi Chindi Udaisi"
Does anyone know that there is cricket tournament going on right now ? some champions league or something ?
Joke: Shashi Tharoor this time angers home minister PC for tweeting about something he heard on the BIG FM.
Facebook & Farmville done .. what fad next?

Ok. Break over. Now back to work

Bai Heart

You read it right, the title of the post has been spelt correctly. The post is dedicated to our house maid for the last 2.5 years. Her name is Aunty, or wait, I just realised that all this while I never ever asked her what her real name was, but I had trusted her with a pair of house keys, so that she can finish with her household chores and cooking during mid day, while all of us guys busy with work at the office.

Bai plays a very important role at a crucial juncture in every young man's life especially in a city like Mumbai. It is that specific age, when mother has put in her papers and taken a voluntary retirement from all responsibilities of her now big enough son. But the wife to-be who theoretically is supposed to be taking over from the mother, is still busy juggling work pressure at office and pressure from parents to get married. When the decision becomes so difficult, she finds the easier way out in postponing the marriage decision. Now this is where, the Bai pitches in with those splendid alu ki sabzi and dal makhani, and once in a while on those few good days, a phirni or paneer parathas. One of the reason our bais enjoys working at our place is the total autonomy we grant her. She works on flexi timings. She decides on the menu for the day, which mostly depends on her mood at that time and also the vegetables we had bought on the weekend. When the vegetable stock is exhausted, the signal is very simple. Soaked channa and green gram make their appearance.

Bai sometimes play a very proactive role as well. Like, if you don't put your clothes for wash regularly, she even takes the privilege to scout through your personal clothing & herself chooses the ones needing a wash. A friend had an extreme-bai experience, when his elderly bai threatened to inform his mother about his excessive smoking & drinking habits. Damn, the threat worked. Bai's definitely don't like mommies visiting their sonnies. Now with mommy monitoring every step of their work, their effectiveness needs to be doubled. Mommies don't understand the cost of living factor in Mumbai and feel its their right get the bai work for every penny they pay her. No wonder, mommies visits have been ranked reason #1 for the high attrition among bais in Mumbai, as per one survey published in respected Mumbai mirror tabloid.

For teaching the few words in marathi to issuing flood warnings on rainy days, It is time I said, Thank you aunty. I know, I really liked the corn palak and alu paratha you cooked today. But this thank you has a wider scope and is meant for everything you do to make our poor bachelor life a little bit better. Long time since we had phirni, if you don't mind, please. You can find the kaju – kishmish on the second drawer on the right :).

Two trips and a hundred stories to tell

When the weekends are longer than usual and parents don't want you back home ever so often, what does a "bored with the routine" - bachelor living in a far away city do ?. He goes tripping.


Trip - 1 (Mt. Abu & Udaipur)

My trip advisor widget on facebook, indicated that most parts of India were fairly well visited by me, except for a large part of Rajasthan. Rajasthan has been on my travel radar ever since 1985, when my grandparents ditched the 3 year old me and went visiting Mt. Abu, Ranakpur and Udaipur. The paeans they had been singing about the places ever since, had built up a cherished desire in me to check out these places especially Dilwara temples in Mt. Abu and City palace & lakes in Udaipur. But being far away from any of the metros, they had been lying idle on my wish list until recently.


Trip invites were sent out to all my buddies, but somehow none of them could take time out. So I ventured out on my hippie trail - lonely backpacker on heritage sojourn.. or rather to "journey to rediscover my soul" in true hippie parlance. Jokes apart, Lonely backpacker trips are not so lonely, if you have planned it out well. Like I had already booked one day/ half day hop-on-hop-off tours at each of these places, from mumbai itself. So I always had a big group of people to travel with. Moreover, these tours provide the additional benefit of a free local guide, who becomes really important, if one has to enjoy a heritage trip, which means understanding the local history, culture, art & architecture.


First hop, Mt. Abu. It was a pleasant surprise to see so much greenery in a place I least expected - Rajasthan. The place is nice with a sprawling lake to add effect. But what sets the place apart from any other hill station, is Dilwara temples. I have seen beautiful temples before - Belur, Halebidu & Somanathapura in Karnataka are black granite marvels. Temples at Khajuraho & Konark are exquisite. Swami Narayan temples in Delhi and Ahmedabad are spell binding. But they are still no match, to the sheer beauty of the 10th century white marble carvings of dilwara temples. If I say not an inch is left uncarved, It would not be an exaggeration. Where would you find, entire chandeliers carved out of marble and hanging down the roof!. Just the 30 mins I spent at the 5 temples, were total paisa vasool for all the pains taken to travel to Mt. Abu. When in Rajasthan, eat rajasthani food. So it was Daal baati for brunch, followed by churma for evening snacks and bajre ki roti with subzi for dinner. The company of Scouts and guides from the local school, a travelling group of friends from Slovenia and old retired couple on perhaps one of their last honeymoons, were among the many different people, I got to know on the one day spent at Mt. Abu.


The early morning journey from Mt. Abu to Udaipur was a breeze . A quick 4 hour drive through more greenery and much talked about Rajasthan highways made it unexpectedly comfortable. At first glance, I felt Udaipur, rated as the best travel destination in the world by some reputed magazine, is more hype than substance. Why has it succeeded, when so many others failed you might wonder ?. The reason is simple, most heritage properties in the town are managed by private business of the local Raja, a shrewd businessmen in his own right. Everything is so neatly organised, the guides are supremely knowledgeable with plenty of anecdotes to spare, tourist facilities are all top notch. All these together elevate, an average fort & palace day outing into a superb heritage experience. Now, I do find the top rating for Udaipur somewhat justified. Other than the city palace, the only other place worth a dekko here is boating on Fatehsagar lake. It is nice with park built on the island right in the middle of the lake. When in Udaipur, shopping for souvenirs is the best end-of-day activity. Miniature paintings in the Mewar styles for the drawing room wall, Bandini saree (for Mom, I clarify) and beautiful hand crafted puppets. And yes, Don't forget to get your own photo clicked in the traditional Rajasthani attire. His Royal Highness Maharajah Shreyan Singh Mewar, atleast for 5 minutes if not more.

Trip-2 (Kashid & Murud - Janjira)

Well, this is where we left from the previous blog post. Bertie's bachelors party. Destination - Kashid beach & Murud-Janjira fort. After losing our way many times, we finally reached Kashid beach resort, late on Saturday night. It was late enough to douse all possibilities of a campfire by the beach, as we were well past the 11 PM deadline. Nevertheless, we had a nice resort with an awesome sports room. The plan was simple, wake up in time for an early morning beach rendezvous. Kashid was our beach of choice, clear blue water & fine sand, add to this privacy offered by one of the least crowded stretches of sea, without any stink of fisher men's catch. From jogging to sunbathing, from surfing the waves to building sand castles, From beach football to Frisbee, it was gala time for the bunch of 7 guys and a welcome break from the hectic worklife.

After a heavy breakfast, we were off to Janjira fort. The first view of the fort left us all completely stunned. A steep cliff leading directly into the sea and a short distance away a beautiful fort right in the middle of the sea. Very much like Sicily & Greek sea side, as shown in many hollywood classics. The 1 km sail boat journey from the coast to the fort was a first time experience for me. The jitters you get when the wind direction suddenly changes, is something you should experience to tell. The fort is really cool, with some amazing views of the surrounding area.

All in all, two great trips and several memorable moments archived for posterity.

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The following section has been added after the author received lots of gaalis, threats and like reactions from housemates for underplaying trip - 2 at the cost of trip - 1.

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  Bertie almost ditched his own bachelor's party, citing bad mood as the ostensible reason. It took the author a lot of convincing using the standard tools of senti, angry, trust, betrayal, gaalis, finally request to get him going eventually
  
  
  
• 
  
  Bertie uploaded pics on picasa web album only after intense screening and censorship by all involved. Some pot bellies are best left to the imagination of the viewer
  
  
  
• 
  
  Yes it is true, u heard it rite. Even at the beach, Da-1 was reading "The house of Morgan", about what else but Finance. Wait, to be fair to him, besides reading he also jogged for little more than 15 minutes
  
  
  
• 
  
  Bansi lost 5 kgs in just 2 hours. How ?. Ask him only
  
  
  
• 
  
  I built a 3 floor sand castle, which survived just 30 minutes, when it was eventually destroyed by Anman's swerving free kick
  
  
  
• 
  
  Our qualis driver Imran was the star of the trip. He made sure, we didnt miss the formula one race on sunday evening, by driving a force india qualis himself. Mr. Mallya ... listening ???, we have just found some real talent at the bottom of the pyramid
  
  
  

7 ways to annoy your newly engaged housemate

1) Poor soul, is on phone engaged in a romantic conversation, when the evil others continuously invade his privacy and eavesdrop on his conversation, and once in a while shout aloud, "Bugger! Finish off the beer before it gets stale!". The teetotaller him is utterly embarrassed and wife to-be of teetotaller is shocked beyond measure ... Hehe

2) Call the bluff, just at the wrong time, when the he is on phone with his to-be, promising to build her a Taj Mahal in the Mughal gardens of Dharavi.

3) Get an expensive treat at the best Italian restaurant in the town, by getting him all senti about the last few days of his bachelor life and the impending slavery thereafter. Pasta Barbaruscha with broccoli sauce isn't too bad a return for a little investment in draaame baazi.

4) Steal the special gift (A box of Ferraro Rocher, if i am not wrong), he has bought for her and hide it just in time, when he wants to courier it across to her

5) Watch the engagement pics and finally tell him, his fiancee definitely looks better than him :). Ignore complaints from him that the photographer was from the girl's side and had vested interests

6) Hand him the lion's share of the household work, so that the experience will put him in good stead for managing his future responsibilities

7) Write a blog post on him, telling the whole world, how his housemates take his case and trouble him a lot these days

PS: You are not invited to our dude's bachelor's party, some fun around the bonfire coming Saturday, at a secluded beach somewhere south of Navi Mumbai. Now those invited please answer your roll call

Da 1 - yes sir!

Da 2 - yes sir!

Anman - yes sir!

Bansi - yes sir!

Bertie - of course sir!

It is that ganapathy time of the year again

In Mumbai, It usually begins with Dahi Handi @ Janmashtmi in august and goes on all the way till Holi in march. Every festival in between is celebrated with such fervour, that it just leaves me totally fascinated. It is a no holds barred celebration.With every region, every religion adequately represented in this cosmopolitan city, the housing society just needs a reason venture out onto the streets with their characteristic music & dance.

For the last 2 years, yours truly had the privilege to get a bird's eye view of all procession on Mumbai's very own Champs Des Elysee's at Mori road, Mahim nested cozily at his 2nd floor apartment balcony.

Today was the big visarjan day. Ganapathies were all heading towards the seas, while I rushed on in the opposite direction towards the airport. With no public transport operating today, I had to walk past each procession tableau. First I saw the small sized gujju society ganapathy. Least noisy, I must say. The Procession ambles along to the sweet sounding chant of bhajans. Not far behind, is huge Kalinacha raja, with the brass bands & marathi songs adding to the excitement. More than the song, it is the dance. I really like this marathi procession dance, but my gujju friends at the garba claim their's is better. But coming from karnataka, u both are better, I would say.

Surprise! Surprise!. The next ganapathy is from shanmugananda south indian society. But it is usual suspect Apdi pode pode blaring from their speakers. The dance is a little wild, with mostly men swaying their lungis.

Even before ganapathy festivities begin to fade from your memories , Gujrathi's begin their dance till you drop, dance all night garba on all the Navrathris. Tired already, amar banglo bandhu have kali pooja to follow. Diwali soon after needs no introduction. But the fireworks spectacle at marine drive's golden necklace is quite unlike anything you might have seen earlier. This diwali the govt. promises to do sydney harbour bridge on our very own Bandra- Worli sea link. That would be one firework display worth waiting for.

Mumbai truly lives up to its reputation as the nation's cultural pot pourri.

I really love the festivals here.

The First Martian

The next great frontier for human space endeavour is definitely to send humans to Mars. Several technical feasibility studies have been conducted, it has been concluded that the single biggest challenge is to protect the humans & their environment from harmful cosmic radiation. If the report is to be believed, the good news is that NASA currently has the technology for executing this project. But the protective shield supposedly makes the spacecraft so heavy, that the fuel requirement makes the project unbelievably expensive and hence financially unfeasible.

Besides, questions have also been raised about the very need of a return trip. The moon landings by the Apollo spacecrafts have often been criticised for being mere symbolic achievements and not valuable scientific experiments, whose learning could be used for the betterment of mankind. Much of this failure has been attributed to the longevity of our stay on moon.

How about a one way ticket to mars ?. Scary it might sound at first instance, there are several reasons, why it might be the best way forward. To understand this, let us consider a parallel in discovery of the New World in the 15th & 16th centuries. Little was achieved, by mere sighting of the new world by the likes of Magellan or Columbus. More remembered, are the fearless commanders like Captain Cook & Don Juan, who set foot on the new world and conquered the locals and established their settlement. None of these guys, left their homes, with any hopes of returning back. May be the situation back home was so desperate, that unknown new world was better bet than the unbearable familiarity of routine existence. May be our lives today are not that desperate, but the growth in population and the competition for limited resources, will definitely create a bleak picture for humanity in the next couple of centuries. You would rather die of solar radiation in mars than from the shock waves of nukes blown by the Americans in the war for control of a last of still in production oilfield.

However, Fear need not be the only motivation. What about the freaky tendencies of human nature?. A generation grown up on a healthy diet of star wars and star treks, would be crazy enough to attempt such risky endeavours. Are human lives more valuable than money?. Mercenaries trade their lives for financial well being of the families in Afghanistan. But yes there is no justification for such unethical acts. But the fact remains, that if given an opportunity, there would be a lot many volunteers. What about old people above 60 or terminally ill patients, do they want to just fade away into oblivion or do something spectacular to leave a lasting impression for generations to come. Read Randy Pausch's Last Lecture, you will know what I am talking about.

Now let us look at how this can be practical. Our existence in mars address both our physical and mental well being. A good understanding can be derived from psychological theories of motivation like Maslow's hierarchy of needs.

First physiological needs, breathing, food, water, sleep, excretion. Since it has been evaluated, that cost of unmanned mission is 10 times cheaper than a manned one. These needs can be taken care of.

Second comes the safety needs - security, employment, resources, property, family & health. A suitable compensation for the participant's family back on earth should address this issue.

Third is the emotional need. To understand this, let us consider the parallel world called Second life. In an increasing virtual connected world, people seek to lead a parallel existence where they can obtain and achieve all the things that they don't manage to in the real world. Many spend more time interacting with online friends than real ones. While being in mars, you might be physically separate from your near and dear. But you can virtually continue to live amongst the same people. If one considers the progress made by the science of virtual reality, I believe setting up such an environment is well within grasp of current levels of available technology to cater to all the five senses like 3D visualization, touch sensors & transmitters, Surround sound, smell sensors & generators and ofcourse taste .

Fourthly, Esteem needs can definitely be addressed as the individual will be celebrated across the human world. Moreover, an individual will also be alive and connected to soak in all the adulation for such an extraordinary acts, which mostly have been the preserve of martyrs. Such a rare opportunity will be motivation enough for many.

Finally the self actualization need, it requires an extra ordinary personality with strong spiritual beliefs to finally make this work. This is one area that never requires a factual justification. Our faith in the known and fear of the unknown, will always prod us to pursue the never has been done before.

Sometimes I wonder if the first martian project would be a reality in my present life. I know I am just intrinsically skeptical like everyone else. but if past history is any evidence, Scientific progress has always stayed a pace ahead of all predictions of even science fiction writers.

I believe there will be a first martian soon. I wish I would be the one.

The Good, the Bad & the Idly

Yes & No .. Yes, this is a review of Quickgun Murugun .. No, it is not a Hindi movie ... No, It is not a English movie .. Yes, It is Tamil movie. Adda paavi! whatisthisisay .

To begin with, let me tell you this is no movie, it is a spoof. Mind It!. Circa 1982, Cowboy the protector of cows tries to protect only veg hoteliers from serving non veg, as under the orders of evil don Rice plate reddy garu. Mindless you might say, but still Mind it!. Who cares, when our cowboy's acting in the entire movie is performed by his two guns - QUICK gun and MURU gun. The various permutations and combinations in styles of firing the two guns forms the crux of our hero's special abilities and accounts for nearly 1 hour of this 1.5 hour movie.

Technically speaking this a double cross spoof movie. First, its a western crossed over into kollywood, with that distinct accent and style like in the 70s. Now you not just spoof this idea further, but make a second cross over into bollywood's mumbai. To be honest, the movie's first half is mostly dedicated to characters resembling Tamil movie stars of 70s and 80s, with hero serenading his lady to some vague tam songs, which most non tams would have rarely ever heard before, let alone identifying with them. Only If they had included a classic crossover tam song, the likes of Apdi Pode Pode Pode, half the audience would have been drawn into a informal jig.

Now the spoofgate does'nt end there. Elevating himself to the standard hollywood fare, the script writer tries to bring in more elements. The villain is a Ghajini lookalike in the first half with his fetish for violent indulgences, suddenly turns into a evil corporate honcho with a Mogambo look alike attire in the second half. Helloo!! Will someone with a dictionary read out the meaning of the word consistency.

Thankfully, the second half slips into some semblance of a story line, however amateurish it might have been. In Rowdy MBA and Matunga mummies, there is a hint of humour snaking its way back into the story. Rowdy MBA is a satire on how consultants armed with MBA degrees hoodwink clients with the GYAN. The sequences involving matunga mummies are the most hilarious, in the search of the one exceptionally tasty dosa preparing mummy.

Yes, there are heroines. Anu Menon aka Lola Kutty trying to do Priya Tendulkar in Hum Paanch. What is Lola Kutty without her outrageous Mallu accent and Gajra fitted attire ?. A damp squib. Thankfully, there is Rambha, the mumbai moll trying to seduce the conservative tamilian boy in murugan. Some credit to the director, for attempting to bring out the cultural contrast between conservative south indian boys and modern mumbai girls.

For a very long time, I have been waiting for a really bad movie to write a review on.

Spare the dosa and spoil the batter.
Can we have some idly instead please!

Absolute humour

Has it occurred to you that you found something funny and laugh your heart out, while people around seem totally nonplussed at your behaviour. It happens to me ever so often. It has lead me to believe there is nothing in the world called Absolute humour. For long, I believed it was just one of my many idiosyncrasies, not worth sparing a thought. It was particularly evident, while watching movies, citing two cases of not so funny ones- The Namesake and more recently Lost in Translation. I was berated by my companions, who failed to understand what was so funny. Its just that a few people are endowed with a funny bone, which is tickled at the slightest of reasons.

But all laughter need'nt be funny. I came across this facebook community - Random laughter when remembering something. It says, laughter is evoked, when an event invokes positive memories of the past. Well, that might be my excuse. This giggle-sniggle has other positive side effects also. Once a friend had asked me, how do I manage to remain a happy guy all the while. I was at loss to answer that one. I did'nt want to sound gloomy with the outpouring of my grief. Neither could I pride on my exalted state, as I am not privy to measure of other people's feelings or emotions. It nevertheless is a cool facade to put on, without much effort.

Everything comes at a cost. For one, you might sound the most immature of the lot. The intellectual depth of your thought process might be put into some questioning. But there is little you can change, even if you want to. Now when I say, Dhamaal is one of the funniest movies I have seen over the last several years, I am so so damn serious and definitely not sarcastic in criticising the slapstick humour of bollywood movies. Let me strenghten my case, by saying the Revered SWAC-C of our esteemed alma mater is also equally in agreement. It is quite another case, that we both watch every slapstick movie that is released from Fool N Final to Singh is King. It has in turn refined our ability to appreciate the finest of nuances in slapstick.

Now Hangover was okie, well written & funny in parts. But at times it was crude and gross for no particular requirement of the storyline. Any comparison with all time classics like Not Another Teen Movie, is over the top and totally inaccurate. The funniest character in hangover to me was the Chinese guy and not the weirdo brother of the bride, whom most in the audience seem to like. It still would rank quite lower than the many spoofs I have been watching these days like Naked Gun series, Super Heroes, Scary Movie.

May be my sense of humour is aroused in witty misrepresentations of facts. Yay!. If I have got my analysis right, I need recommendations on books to read, movies to watch. Just the right ones for me, Now that you know what works.

Please! Please! Contribute to this worthy cause.

Wassup

Friday evening 6:45 pm

Status : sitting @ marine drive sea side watching the sun set

Music : soft instrumental - Yanni, vanessa mae, mozart

Mood : contemplative

Breeze : light, cool & pleasant

Crowd : noticeably sparse .. still the usual mix of young & old, rich
& poor, couples & singletons, masked & unmasked, dogs & crabs

immediate past : just another day at the office

immediate future : ice cream at rustoms followed by dinner at crystal

Task at hand : post a good ol' fashioned status msg

Flu is in the air ..

Aaj ki taaza Khabar. Janta ke liye chetavni.

Flu ek khatarnak Bhimari hain. Yeh cheekne se, choone se aur choomne se fehalta hai. Flu peedith logon se door rahe. Unko aapke pyaar aur lagaav ki abhi zaroorat nahin hain. Apne aapko pehle bachayiye.

But yeh mumbai hain meri jaan. The average mumbaikar reads Economic Times on the weekdays and Times Of India only on weekends just to stay in touch. So he is either unaware of the dangers of flu or deliberately chooses to ignore the threat.

But today morning, Dadar station was a different. Flu or no flu, there was definitely an air of suspicion. Anyone wearing mask is either an infected person or trying to protect himself from infection.

Now whoever designed the surgical mask, definitely has a very poor sense of fashion. Its so ugly. yuck!. Now trendy mumbai women have to find ways to overcome this problem. Obviously, they can't everyday pull out the light green salwar kameez and matching sandals to go with the mask. Off with the masks, instead they turn out in their most colourful duppatas, wrapped tightly around the face. My friend Alex from Moscow, finally was contended seeing the quintessential Indian woman, all coyness, all traditional and all that, if only for oneday atleast. Just like Aishwarya in Jodha Akbar!. Wah!.

Compared to the pretty women, Men were definitely an eyesore. Out were the dirtiest hand kerchiefs tied around the neck, Which I am sure even the most unhygienic H1N1 virus would want to avoid. But the good thing was on board the train, everyone was suprisingly well behaved, no pushing or shoving. That was just the lull before the storm.

All hell broke loose, when Rashesh bhai let out the sneeze he had been holding tight ever since he boarded the train at Dahisar. Every one ran for cover in all directions. The younger ones uttering the choicest of four letter words cursing their fate. The older ones started humming the Hanuman chalisa. Just one prayer on everybody's lips, "Hey Prabhu, Meri Raksha Karo". Any amount of "Sorry bhai, Amne flu nahin che" from Rashesh Bhai could not console the now scared junta. The journey ended and off we went our separate ways.

To conclude, a short romantic song dedicated to flu by Sir John Paul Young

(Singalong)

Flu is in the air
Everywhere I look around
Flu is in the air
Every sight and every sound

(Chorus)
Flu is in the air
Flu is in the air
Oh oh oh
Oh oh oh

Flu is in the air
In the whisper of the breeze
Flu is in the air
In the thunder of the sneeze

And I don't know if I'm just scheming
Don't know if I feel sane
But it's something that I must believe in
When everyone has got a mask across their mane

(Chorus)
Flu is in the air
Flu is in the air
Oh oh oh
Oh oh oh

Men are from Uranus, Women are from Neptune

Short Story from Aesop's Babbles (Rejects from the original fables collection)

Once upon a time there used to be two planets by name Uranus and Neptune. Uranus was male, while Neptune was female. Naturally, they were attracted to each other and fell in love. They could easily get approval for marriage, as both belonged to the same class - fuming gas giants.

But marriage was no bliss. While Uranus always remained blue, Neptune was Red, Green or Blue depending on the time of the day. Both could spin all day long either on horizontal axis or on vertical axis, But never the same way. Now everyday, Uranus rose 2 hours later, but set 2 hours earlier than Neptune. Neptune had never known this before! Sigh!. But she put up with it, as Uranus had promised her many a moon and also bought her special rings. Neptune liked her rings, but always thought they pale in front of her neighbor Saturn’s.

In their younger days, they thought life was just about happily spinning near each other like DINKs (Double Income No Kids) do on earth. Neptune spun very hard, everyday. Those days, there used to be strong gender bias in the galaxy especially against female gas giants. But neptune was determined to break the Gas ceiling. One day they saw a cute little Pluto wandering around aimlessly. Overcome by gravity, they took him in & soon they were one happy family like the DINKWADs (DINKs with a Dog).

But when god heard about this, he was very angry. "Nobody is above the laws of universe", he proclaimed. "The life of all planets revolve around their Son .. err Sun", he added. Soon Uranus and Neptune were making long term plans for their Sun. What will he be like? Which orbit should they put him in, when he is ready to spin on his own?. Getting an orbit these days was very difficult, especially after 33% orbit reservations were introduced for the asteroid belt. Uranus wanted him to be a Red Giant, while Neptune wanted him to be a White dwarf. Meanwhile, Pluto was no more getting the attention he was so used to all these days. Soon he was relegated to a sub orbit and eventually declared a Non Planet.

By the time he was 20 mn years old, Sun moved out on his own into the company of the inner planets. He lives very far these days and rarely ever visits them. Both eagerly await the return of Uncle Haley once every 70 years and keenly listen to his stories about their Sun’s life in the inner orbits. His big face off with the Angry Mars or his brief fling with the pretty Venus. Age has caught up with both Uranus and Neptune. They biding their time until the supernova explosion, when like all other planets before them, one day they will be sucked into the black hole.

Moral of the story : Men are from Uranus, Women are from Neptune

It is a way of life

first you deny It,
then you confront It,
later you despair about It,
Finally you learn to live with It.
.......
Once in a while, you blog about It.

Tag 4

I have been tagged by Mrunalini. I have no choice but to fill up the blanks and pass on the tag to four others. I have been threatened with ex-communication from the blogging community if I don't comply. So here I go.

4 Places I wish I never be in

• Babrala village, Meerut, UP - Not when you are waiting at 11:00 PM, for an 4 hour late overnight passenger train in this small village in eastern UP, amidst the many Bhaiyyas, their Bhabhis, Bahubalis, Netaji, police afisars and professional kidnappers (thankfully I had forgotten to wear my Armani that fateful day. sigh!)
• Chennai - 2 months of summer internship in the blistering hot weather, extremely limited supply of brackish water, unfriendly people (women in particular). My only wish is to convince all the bhavan's - Saravana, Murugan idly shop .etc.etc to shift to Mumbai and Bangalore, so that I can enjoy the delectable dosas and ghee pongal for breakfast, lunch and dinner.
• Mekele (Ethiopia) - 50% power deficit in a country with one of the highest crime rates among developing nations. You dare not venture out. Especially when the most happening shopping street with discs/pubs is called Chechnya for obvious reasons.
• Andheri Station - At 9:00 AM morning rush hour, Diamonds are waiting to be studded at SEEPZ, Computers are all ready to be booted up at Powai, Attendance needs to be marked at colleges in Vile Parle, Dabbas crying out to be eaten, Meetings already behind schedule at nariman point. Is someone's work more important than the other's?. Sadly, the trains are not smart enough to figure that out. what are you waiting for then. Chalo! Chalo! Chalo!

4 TV Shows I never liked to watch

• Rakhi ka Swayamvar - I never thought the institution of marriage can be made to look so silly. Just like when the half Canadian half Gujarati Elesh, professes his love to Rakhi in British accented Hindi "Rakhi tum bahut achhi, shaadi me-tum, main good husband banta". To which, Rakhi's brilliant reply " Okies! me loving Elesh too muchs. Me good wife becoming, homely homely types". Sic. Sic.
• Boogie Woogie for aunties, uncles and grannies - Dance is fun to watch. But .
• Telugu movies dubbed in Hindi on SET MAX - Forget the lip sync if there were any, dialogues and characters are so unlikely to ever speak hindi. Its funny, yes, but for just as long as you can bear it.
• Star Parivar awards for best performances in Saas Bahu serials - It requires some real public interest to appreciate the many layers in the emotions enacted by the finest actors in the most challenging of roles in some of the greatest epic dramas ever broadcast on TV.

4 places to see before I die

• Fjords in Norway
• Lake Baikal in Siberia, Russia
• Trek up the crater of Cotopaxi in Equador
• Diamond mines in Angola

4 dishes I would like to be served for lunch today

• Tofu/Paneer Malai Tikka for starters
• Kaju masala with garlic naan
• Thai green curry with steamed rice
• Sizzling hot brownie with vanilla ice cream for dessert

4 Books I started reading, but have still not completed

• Midnight's children by Salman Rushdie
• Atlas shrugged by Ayn Rand
• Imagining India by Nandan Nilekani
• White Mughal by William Dalrymple

4 Movies I Can Watch Again & Again

• Children of Heaven
• Sound of Music
• Independence Day
• Mckenna's gold

Here are four people, I tag. I can bet all my worth, none of these guys are ever going to fill the form and pass the tag to others.

Mahesh

Siby

Wayne

Kasturi - I heard rumours about some secret blog for a limited audience.

Curse of the Black Sparrow

For all the hatred & venom , I spewed on the black sparrow it is payback time now. Just when I was about to venture out of home, a routine mechanic check crossed my overcautious mind. I don't know if it was the mechanic or satan himself in disguise .. vetoed my bike journey. sob sob. Here I am in the painfully undesired comfort of neeta volvo, racing against time to keep my date @ pune. As if, that was not enough, I am being put through the grind of watching mallika in maan gaye mughal e azam. is jungle se mujhe koi bachaoooo!

A speck by any other name is called speck

Can you see the speck?. Yes, that's me. I have even tried to draw your attention with big bold letters, well that is as big as I have ever got till now. Someone said I am black, another one said I am white, I thought I better clarify it myself. But never before had a speck ever clarified, its blasphemous. No speck can ever get too big for his pixel!. The Someone didn't like black and the another one didn't like white. Neither liked me, so why bother to hear me out. I liked them both coz besides someone, there was only the other one. I lacked choice. I still stood out. But nobody seems to appreciate that fact. Some one chose one among the hundred similar white dots and other one chose one of the blacks. I have been asked to wait. As they say, that one day, someone will seek shades of grey. I am waiting.

Black Sparrow

Godspeed! or lets call that 60 kmph, though god wouldn't mind me going a few notches higher. Any amount of insistence on my part doesn't seem to perturb this junk piece of machinery called XCD 125, that a few years ago Jackie Chan sold on TV to gullible Indians, promising a cruising comfort, even a pseudo flying experience. By the time, we could discover that takeoff speed limit is 60 kmph, Jackie had fled the country and gone underground since then. May be such miracles happen in high altitudes of Wuhan settlement of Xian province. Definitely not in Chinchpokli village of Thane district.

Well, I call my bike Black Sparrow. It is no Black hawk or a Street hawk. It is just a small twittering sparrow. Now black sparrow has been put under my care by my friend Shyam Kumar CFA, who has gone back to his native village to work in the NREGS scheme. He believes, it pays better fixed salary and fringe benefits than his earlier job with an investment bank in Mumbai.

So Black sparrow and me have hatched this plan for a weekend outing. We will go driving from Mumbai to Pune and back over the weekend. Yay! Being a bike, a small bike at that, I don't have to pay toll at any of the roads. After the superb spell of rain over the last month, I expect every patch of land to be clothed in the splendid green, that my digicam captures so beautifully . Waterfalls all along the route would definitely add to the misty aura of my presence. Now picture this, a black bike in a misty green background posing with a handsome guy in a bright red T-shirt. Now, that the wardrobe has been decided, next is the route. Mumbai - Khopoli ( Zenith Falls) - Lonavala (Karla caves) - Kamshet - Pune it shall be.

Ohh, I forgot to introduce our gracious hosts at Pune, the good old Mr & Mrs. Mathew. Mr. Mathew or GURUJI as we youngsters so lovingly call him, is an epitome of innocence and simplicity that has won him so many fans on orkut over the last several decades. Well, I have also been promised an audience with the Ms. Kumari, the Crown Princess of Jharkand and Mr. Arren, Formerly the counsel to the Vice royalty of Kanpur.

Bertie, my dear roommate has promised to be a return companion. But black sparrow doesn't fancy him much, believes three is a crowd. With or without Bertie, the return trip plan is to take me to amby valley - pavna dam - Lonavala and back. I forgot to add, the sumptuous but expensive meal I have promised myself at Sunny Dhaba near Wakarphata on the old mumbai - Pune highway.

All planned and just a few prayers pending. I have offered my 2 rupee coin to Sea God at marine drive yesterday, which he gleefully accepted. I was made to understand this amount would go into keeping the tides low as well as internal transfer to the Rain God's account to keep my route clear and pleasant. Will drop another rupee today as well, just as a surety.

MCom. Pass.

Finally, did my first mobile commerce transaction. Purchased a Rs. 99 teddy bear and gifted it to myself. But for me the real value of M Commerce will be realised, when on a Sunday afternoon sitting at CCD, me & my friends suddenly decide to check out a movie at Fame Andheri a good 15 km away. Some utility, I must say. Now for Travel booking, I would any day find Internet more convenient. But gifting .. hmm .. me not the gifting types though.. But the application promises to be sooo cool, that I am tempted to try it out.

Fancy this gift shopping feature. My mobile has contacts of all friends with their postal address,email, mobile numbers and birthdays stored. Now I do get birthday reminders otherwise. But this application that runs on my mobile finds the birthday in the contacts table, reminds me to buy a gift ( from among the many options) and on purchase even pulls out the postal address for delivery of the gift. The reminder is also persistent asking me whether I really don't want to gift this person anything. Yes or No. This repeats all day, until I decide. Cool isn't it :).

Now sample this Movie ticket booking app, Come friday morning, you get reminder on the movies releasing on that day. You make a choice of movie and timing, it next asks to select friends or friends group to invite and automatically sends an SMS to them with the details. Their replies are also tracked. If you are taking your own sweet time to book tickets, it will also send reminders on the status of seat availability for the chosen show just to induce that urgency.

The third cool bit is the analytics. Mobile call usage trends, purchase trends, application usage preferences (games vs music/videos). All useful to target products and services more accurately.

But still somehow, I am still wary about keying in my credit card details on the mobile. The application developers have found a innovative way around it. Use of cash cards as an alternative. The Pre-paid cards limit the upside for any losses due to hacking, while providing the convenience of mobile usage for small token purchases. NGPay already accepts ITZ Cash cards for mobile transactions in India.

Yes, I can hear cynic in you shouting aloud, "I don't need any of these.. neither now nor in the near future". That's exactly why, you have the apps store application (like apple apps), which will catalogue all your application needs, so that the moment you need, the store application will download just the right application for you on the go.

A few other apps really impressed me at the store. Smart Sound Manager - keeps track of my workday calender and appointment schedule to automatically switch between silent and loud mode. Works really well for me. First, my windows phone synchronises with the outlook calender at office. Second, most often, I tend to switch from loud to silent while getting into a meeting. But once the meeting is done, I rarely remember to switch back to loud mode.

Just Do It is a smart task manager. The usual task manager on phone just maintains a list of TO BE DONE things. Most often, the list is obscured by other items competing for the limited screen space. So I never felt convenient using the tasks feature, instead stickling loyally to the good old post-it sticky notes. But this application, goes one better. It captures all the tasks in the form of a screen saver, which is activated after 10 seconds of idle time. Now, you have enough screen space with big fonts and a near perpetual display to catch your eye all the time. Now thats what I call a really cool e-postit.

Face2Face does something like face capture in a photo shot on the mobile phone. So after a click, it requests you to tag the faces identified with contacts on the phone, much like the tagging on orkut/facebook. Now all calls from friends will be accompanied by their smiling faces beckoning you to pick up the phone. For someone like me, who thinks a camera is the most useless accessory in a phone, this app comes as refreshing change.

Ofcourse, there are the usual suspects - the much written about GPS or bluetooth applications. I cant let my imagination go haywhire now.

It is just soo exciting, thinking about the numerous possibilities that mobile phones can create in the future ! Goose bumps!

Moon Peak

I have just finished reading Jeffry Archer's Paths of Glory. It is about the life of George Mallory, the unofficial first person ever to summit Everest, though there is no recorded evidence to prove that. Needless to say, I am mighty inspired. All I want to do now, climb up to the summit of any one of the Himalayan peaks, even the smaller ones would do. Now the problem is I don't have the time or the money to spend on a grand Himalayan expedition.

My criteria is simple

1) Mumbai - Summit - Mumbai journey should not take more than 5 days

2) Summit should be at least 5000m high with a height above snow line of at least 1500m

3) Me can't scale some steep snow cliff with ice axe and all, so difficulty level should be average

4) Definitely don't want to spend more than 20k all inclusive on the trip

Need to take quotations from mountaineering clubs or do some heavy duty Internet research ?

Naah ... I know the peak I want to scale. Ever since the day I saw it, over 2 years ago, I have climbed it at least 3 times, even saved a colleague's life once and survived an avalanche another time. Now its time do it for real. I feel it is the closest I will ever get to really being a mountaineer.

The name is Moon Peak and it towers behind Mcleodganj in Dharamshala, Himachal Pradesh. The photo of the snowline as seem from the hotel, where I stayed. The snowline starts from a glacier called Triund, which was barely 9 km from where we stayed. I almost trekked there last time, had I not been held back by my lazy friends, who rather wanted to spend time playing cards, singing and dancing. But yes, the research was done nevertheless. Snow boots, sleeping bags and basic equipment all available for rent at Mcleodganj for a few thousand thousand a day. Professional guide is also available for a few hundred a day. It is a day's trek to Triund and another one day to peak and two days on the return. Since Dharamshala is well connected from Pathankot ( 2 hours), Assuming I would need half day each for the onward and return flights making it a total of 5 days - yipeeee !. Let me also clarify the climb doesn't require great mountaineering expertise. Loads of Enthu and some stamina would suffice.

Peak - Moon Peak (5010 m)

Base camp - Mcleodganj ( 2000 m)

BTW .. there are a few other peaks in Garhwal, Kumaon and Sikkim. Some of these are not easily accessible or others don't fit into my criteria.

Now coming to the purpose of writing this post. I need able and willing partners to give me company.

I am married. I am planning to get married. I am stuck up in project. I don't have any leaves left. I am broke. I am old. I am unfit. I think you are crazy. I better get back to my work.

These are list of acceptable excuses. If not, its worthwhile to give a thought on making this trip.

I am in no hurry. I just hope one day, We will be able to do this. :).

Ethiopian Diary

Finally a breather in between hectic work schedule .. this is the much awaited update on my Ethiopian sojourn .. It is common nowadays to travel to US & UK. A journey to other european countries or may be australia/new zealand would evoke some curiosity, if not more. But a trip to ethiopia!!!! Just the mention left most of my friends amused, interested, shocked and surprised all at the same time. Let me try to tell somethings about ethiopia which may be lonely planet or wikipedia might not have mentioned.

* Ethiopia had very bad famine and a major food shortage in the 80s. But to my great surprise, most ethiopian locals, have a habit of wasting a large part of their food in their plates during lunch and dinner time. Atleast we Indians are taught never to waste even a morsel.

* AC and fans are non existent in the entire country, not even in the best of hotels. Its less to do with technology backwardness and more about the salubrious climate. Much of the country is located at altitudes between 2000m to 3000m above sea level. The capital addis is around 2500m above sea level, now thats as high as Simla.

* Ethiopians follow a form of local orthodox christianity, with some interesting traditions like ritual fasting, engraving a cross on the forehead and tatoos.

* The most famous ethiopian is the runner Haile Gebresellasie, who at various points of time has held every world record in distance running from 1500m to 10000m. Last I heard, he has broken the Marathon world record as well. Now thats inspirational for someone like me, who is still planning to break the 2 hour barrier @ Mumbai Marathon 2010 come january

* Addis Abeba is widely regarded as the political capital of Africa. It is the headquarters of African Union as well as many Africa based UN organisations. Atlast count, there are 78 embassies in the the capital's central business district. Local areas in addis are named after countries whose embassy is located there. Lunch at Rwanda, followed by coffee at the boulevard in Congo and the dinner @ the pakistani restaurant in Namibia. One area to avoid is Chechnya, notorius for its nightclubs and late night brawls.

* Ethiopia is atleast 10 years behind india in development. High cost of communication and poor internet connectivity comes as a surprise to people coming from india. Africa as such is not poor. Countries with gold and diamonds like South africa have been traditionally affluent. Now add oil producers like Angola, Nigeria and a few others to the list. But what the region lacks is a sound political system. Its either the military junta or the communists. Each have taken turns to loot their own people. That is when I really value the democracy we Indians are so proud of, despite its so called limitations

* Ethiopia is among the rare few african countries never to have been colonised, though the Italians tried a couple of times.While the locals are proud of this fact, they have definitely missed out on the perks of colonial rule - good education system, culture & work discipline and to some extent exploitation of natural resources, each of which were contributions of britishers to India.

* My local culture quotient was greatly enriched by two aspects - Ethiopian cuisine and the Eskesta - ethiopian shoulder dance. The cuisine has a strong italian influence, with pizzas and pastas. But the local dhal tadka - called Shiro and the local dosa (pancake) called Injera turned out to be my favourite. One evening to remember, was when I tried hard to teach my hotel chef how to prepare good rasam with rice and ended learning to cook injera-shiro myself :). Among fruits, my favourite is the Cactus fruit. Yes, the same plant which grows in deserts as well as in decorative pots at our homes. I must confess, this fruit is really yummy. I wish to take some back to India, only If the Indian custom authorities are a little more liberal in their rules.

* Eskesta is all about rhythmic neck and shoulder movement, a clear contrast from spanish dance forms which focus on rhythmic hip and leg movements. Set to the fast piano notes, its quite a delight to watch. The hotel gym instructor, who also ran an aerobics session in the evening tried a fusion of aerobics with Eskesta, much to the chagrin of a two left footed creature like me. Nevertheless, I tried.

* The largest indian population in Ethiopia are not Indian business men mainly gujrathis like I had thought before, they are actually Indian teachers, whom the ethiopians hold in very high regard. Long before IT became India's major service export, Indian teachers were already spreading knowledge in a remote corners of africa. Most of these people are employed by local universities on a UN funded programme, with dollar salaries which are significantly higher than what the locals get paid. Now thatz one reason, any Indian tourist is greeted with a pleasant namaste followed by a discourse on bollywood from Amitabh Bacchan to Shahrukh Khan. Sadly, the actresses are never once mentioned.

* The most popular indian export is neither the teachers nor bollywood. Its Bajaj. The autos were introduced in the country some 10 yrs back and have caught the imagination of the locals like nothing before.

* The economy finally .. yes .. claimed to be growing at 11% over last 5 years, albeit on a v v small base. Total exports miniscule at USD 2 bn a year. On a per capita basis for the 70 mn population, that would be among the lowest in the world. No oil, no gold, no diamond, no great english, no technology, no port, no rail, poor roads, but yes .. good air connectivity. That leave agri products and agri input dependent small industries like textile and leather. Inflation at 35% last year (needs to be verified). Completely import dependent economy, with a currency pegged to the dollar. Power production - 95% dependent on Hydro Electricity. The El Nino or whatever phenomenon, this monsoon is expected to nearly cripple an entire country's economy, with nearly 50% power deficit. Tourism potential v high, but largely untapped.

* Ethiopian expat population in US number around 15 m. Compare this to the nearly 25 mn Indian origin residents. But given Ethiopia's population of nearly 70 mn (compared to over 1 bn in india), that would be a sizeable expat population. But per capita earnings of the expats from the two countris are poles apart. Unlike the Indians, the Ethiopians predominanty work in low skill jobs. But it is still noteworthy, as much of the migration happened in the post colonial period and not directly a consequence of african slave trade of 18th and 19th century.

* Ethiopians consider themselves as among the most beautiful in africa. They are not black, but brown and moderately built, with pleasant features. Most of it supposedly inherited from the very attractive Queen of Sheba, who ruled in 10 century BC and married King Solomon of Israel. But what inspired the popular party game 'Queen of Sheba' .. is still a mystery to me ??

L.O.S.T in Real Life

In a classic case of real life imitating reel life, the mystery surrounding the disappearance of Air France flight 447, is the perfect prequel for my favourite sci-fi drama series of the past few years L.O.S.T. If we go by this version, also since the wreckage of the plane has not been found, the survivors are still alive, may be in a mysterious tropical island somewhere in atlantic.

WHODUNNIT ..

Is it secret alien base station in the lost continent of Atlantis, which was conducting a secret inter galactic energy transmission in the guise of a tropical thunderstorm, to periodically recharge their livelihood in the mountainous depths 6000m below sea level. Or is it a Captain Nemo's Nautilus, which secretly kidnapped the entire airline's crew and passenger base to replenish its ageing work force at the mysterious island in south pacific.

FLASHBACK in SEPIA ...
Ofcourse, the passenger list had its own interesting people. The ex royal descendant of the brazil, 3 chirpy teenage wannabe doctors from ireland, wise and experienced pilot, citizens of over 30 nationalities and also ofcourse, the secret spies of the CIA, british MI6, Israeli mossad, who were just returning from a well deserved beach side rio vacation after the success of the last secret spy mission. Each has his/her own story to tell. Ofcourse, the soccer crazy brazilian cab driver, who ensured that 3 passengers were delayed enought to miss the flight by a few minutes. Divine providence or some karmic connection. Over to the present now ..

BACK TO WHODUNNIT...
Some say that it is well known, that this portion of atlantic is the favourite dumping ground for satellite debris, was it that the plane struck by a failing satellite or may be a meterorite. At the speed at which the plane was travelling, it doesnt require a very big sized object to completely vanquish a 200 tonner airliner. Or was it a extra powerful magnetic field which caused a failure of the electric system a la bermuda triangle.

The yet to be deciphered coded message recieved from the flight 447 before the communication systems were lost ..

LHR1340 BCN1610 LHRQQQ 99/1 QQQBCN 98/A QQQQQQ 906/PAYDIV B

It has left officials puzzled as it doesnt comply with the standard aviation coding standards. May be in this code lies the secret that can potentially unlock the mystery of the flight disappearance. So codebusters out there, get set and go.

TO BE CONTINUED ...

Ritual Significance

If it is your once a year customary visit to native village temple and also the past 26 outings were really exercises in boredom, while trying to digest the incomprehensible chattering of the mantras and the inscrutable customs associated with the pooja and offerings to the god. All that changed on the 27th visit. As I spent time, thinking about the possible origins of temple rituals. For once, I also paid due attention to the entire pooja procedure, trying to relate mantras to all the Sanskrit, I had mugged up until class XII in the quest of getting a good board rank. It also lead to some very enlightening conversations with elders including my grandmom as well as the purohit. So much so, that I thought it merited a blogpost in itself.

Now, I am completely agnostic to religion & rituals. So I might sound trivial to the high priests of the blogging community. But to the others like me, I hope it would be interesting to read.

Why does every temple in a village has a huge bell just at the entrance to the sanctum sanctorum ?
Ans: Traditionally, the bell rung was to inform the villagers that a pooja is happening, so they may assemble. It was also a message from a visitor to the purohit of the temple, who typically lived in a house nearby, that a visitor has arrived

What are the major steps in a standard pooja procedure ?
The objective of a pooja is to invoke the god to provide darshan and bless the devotees. Three major parts are
1) Invocation
2) Arathi (Darshan)
3) Blessings (Prasad)

Invocation
A major part of the pooja is the invocation. Invocation needs to be accompanied by the wish list, that the devotee wants god to fulfill.

Invocation by cleansing involves abhishek of the idol with water, tender coconut, sandal milk, milk among others, so that god feels fresh enough to make the entry.

Invocation by offering involves offering fruits and flowers to attract the dear lord with the fragrance or the taste of the ripe fruit.

Invocation by singing, this involves the many mantras(Archane), bhajans in praise of the dear lord. Brilliant!.

Invocation by decoration is the best of them all, when the idol is decked in the most beautiful of attire and jewellery (Remember the lord of Tirupathi) to make it absolutely irresistible for his highness.

A few communities have unique as well as sometimes bizzare invocation rituals. These includes the ritual fasting of the jain community to appease the lord through their sacrifice of basic needs and desires to the extreme ones like Thaipusam in some tamil communities which includes body piercing of various forms. Sabarimalai Ayyapa temple rituals are also based on the sacrifice of basic needs concept.

Arathi (Darshan)

A temple was essentially ports of call for gods, when they visit earth. The figurines for gods were housed in a inner smaller room (sanctum sanctorum), which is reached through passage through several larger rooms. Typically this inner room, was meant to be a dark place. In those days before electricity was invented, When the Arathi was performed, the light from the lamps ensured, its the only time the devotees got to see idol of the god. This was symbolic of the god giving darshan to his devotees.

Women in India, typically light a lamp in the evening in front of the idol/ photo of the god. This is meant to signify that god appears and resides in the persons house every evening. In the older days, when nights were meant to be dangerous, the presence of god was meant to be a reassurance. Indian women, especially married ones, even to date follow this practice as part of their daily ritual.

Blessing (Prasad)
Blessing typically comes in the form of various things used in invocation. The water/tender coconut used in Abhishek is offered as teerth to devotees, after Darshan. Devotees typically take teerth in two ways - a few drink it and assimilate the blessings in the body. A few others put it on their top of their head, as it expected to seep in through from there into the entire body.

Blessing is also provided in the form of fruits and flowers offered to the god earlier. In South India, if during an Arathi, if the flower on the lord falls off, it is considered to be mighty auspicious. The devotees cause for invocation was definitely bound to come true.

Blessing in the form of Arathi flame is the most interesting. Now the Arathi flame, when performed is supposed to have caught the sight of the lord. So when this is passed around, each devotee passes his hands around the flame of the the Arathi and touches both his eyes. This is meant to permanently capture divine image in the eyes of the devotee.

What is the significance of Turmeric and Kumkum in traditional rituals ?
Kumkum is meant to be applied on the forehead (Sindoor in north india) as it is supposed to ward of the evil eye. So the red coloured kumkum is supposed to have a protective significance. The yellow coloured turmeric is meant signify health and prosperity. In South India, it is customary to offer both colours to women when they visit your home. South Indian women have a practice of first applying the kumkum on the host's fore head, then her own forehead and then to her mangalsutra. Her husband gets the additional insurance cover for free.

Is Vastu shastra based on some rituals?
Now there are so many temples where poojas keep going on and god has limited time. So he has to make a choice. Now this competing scenario lead to differentiation. It is believed that some god come from particular direction(preferably east and north) and prefer to reside in a area of particular size along with convenient entry route. Now this premise lead to an architectural planning principle called vastu shastra. It will tell you which direction to place your entrance door, how big to plan different rooms, where to locate the pooja room, which colours appease the gods better. Vaastu shastra also clearly indicates a modular/simplistic planning without too much creativity. In essence, non angular/circular walls to ensure god doesn't lose his way, while trying to reach the pooja room.

One Ritual, I still havent understood is the concept of Kalash. The steel pot shaped structure, with betel leaves and a coconut in the mouth. Would be glad if somebody could enlighten me on that.